Wanna Be Startin' Something

The Range Staff at the Academy has a reputation for being very tough and intimidating. Everyone knows not to mess with them. However, there is another side to the Range Staff. When they are in a good mood they like to entertain themselves by messing with the cadets in a good-natured sort of way. For example, if you mess up (not severely, of course) and the staff is in a good mood, they probably won't make you do push-ups. Instead, they will make you run around the entire range waving your arms and yelling "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" over and over again as if you were on a rollercoaster. And they will make you do that the entire quarter-mile back to the main Academy grounds if they are in an especially good mood.

The Range Staff was in that kind of mood last week when Company A was doing tactical drills. The cadets were supposed to get out of the car, shoot a couple targets, run to a wall, shoot a target that was holding a "hostage," switch weapons, shoot another target, and take cover. The drill was going to be timed, so before they started, the Range staff asked if there were any rivalries in the group. One cadet spoke up and said there weren't any rivalries, but there were brothers in the Company. The Staff latched onto that pretty quickly. They made the two brothers (one of whom is Jay's roommate) go against each other and had them taunting each other with chants like, "I'm going to beat my brother, nah nah nah nah nah." The cadets found it all rather entertaining, and the Staff continued to have each cadet do something funny when it was their turn.

Well, Jay's turn came and the range had him doing push-ups to get his heart-rate going before the drill in order to more closely imitate real life. As he was doing his push-ups, one of the officers noticed that Jay was only wearing one glove. Now, I know what you're thinking, but let me defend my husband a little. It gets pretty cold out on the range (hence the gloves) but it is also pretty difficult to shoot with gloves on. So Jay removed the glove from his shooting hand. Ok, so ....... it's still weird. Anyway, as I was saying, one of the officers noticed his missing accessory and yelled out:

"Fear! Are you really wearing only one glove? What, are you too poor to buy a pair??"

Jay, who was still doing pushups, started to laugh and responded, "No sir!"

"Who do you think you are, Michael Jackson? Tell you what Fear, I want you to moonwalk down to the wall and back!"

What could Jay do? He got up and moonwalked the length of a basketball court and back as the other cadets laughed and cheered him on. They especially liked it when he tilted his hat forward. (My man's got moves!)

Jay was then required to sit in the patrol car and sing at the top of his lungs, "Billy Jean is not my lover... she's just a girl who claims that *I* am the one..." as he waited for his turn to start the drill.

He is such a good sport.