A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Today is Day 3 of Jay's life as a CHP Officer, and... so far so good! It actually hasn't been very exciting yet because he has spent the past few days in the office filling out paperwork, learning the computer system, etc. His real "on the road" training begins on Monday the 5th. He will be on the swing shift (1 p.m. - 9 p.m. or later) for about a month. After that, who knows? But for now it's good because even though he has to work on Sundays, he'll still be able to make it to church. And on school days he can drop Natalie off at kindergarten. Whoot whoot!

The kids are so glad that Daddy is back... Mommy's aren't nearly as fun. Bea even told me the other day, "I love all my family and people I know, but I love Daddy and Grandma the best." Thanks, Bea. You better believe I'm going to bring that back up when she's 13 and begging me to drive her to the mall.

The pregnancy is going along smoothly, although I won't see a doctor until mid-May (Kaiser!). I am feeling fine and am one of the lucky ones who doesn't experience morning sickness. The only time I threw up during a pregnancy was with Dexter, and I'm pretty sure it was In & Out's fault and not Dexter's fault. It has kind of ruined In & Out for me, though.*sigh* Anyway, I really have nothing to complain about in the pregnancy department - yet. I'm sure I'll have plenty of aches and pains to detail for you all as the months go on. (I can feel your excitement from here!)

In other big Fear Family news, Jay I and finally got new cell phones! We really had no choice since our other phones were so old they wouldn't be able to comply with the new California "hands-free" law that goes into effect July 1st. Since Jay is an officer and all, we figured we better make sure we are following the rules of the road. I'm so excited to have a phone that can play a different ring tone depending on who's calling! I feel so... advanced!

The other big purchase over the past few days was a gate to keep Dexter out of the kitchen. Ahhh, peace for $18 - what a bargain! Dexter doesn't seem to mind it, either. He gets to practice his standing.

Well, I suppose that about sums it up. It's weird not to have the Academy to blog about anymore. Don't get me wrong, it's fantastic, but ... it's still weird.

Never a dull moment!

In July, Jay and I will celebrate 7 years as husband and wife. We have packed a lot into those years, including 1 house purchase (and sale), 3 children, 8 moves, and countless job changes. What can we say, we like to keep things movin'! So, with that in mind we would like to announce that Jay has changed his mind about being a CHP officer. He wants to go back to construction sales.

Kidding!
Can you imagine?? He would be sleeping on the couch for eternity.

Seriously, it's been nine days since we last had a big event in our house so it's about time for another one: we're having another baby!

Now I'm not kidding. :) I'm about 8 weeks and am due in early December. We are all very happy, except Dexter, who has no clue what is going on.

Officer Fear in the house!

Friday April 18th now holds a holy place in Fear Family History. Besides our marriage and the births of our children, Jay's graduation from the California Highway Patrol (OOO-RAH!) Academy was the best day in our lives. It was a long time coming but I can tell you this: it was worth every single second apart.

The day started early because Jay (who had overnight liberty) woke up at 4:30 a.m. to leave our hotel room and head back to the Academy. I was able to fall asleep for about another hour, but I was too excited to sleep any longer than that. At 7:30 a.m. my Dad knocked on my door (he was staying in the same hotel) and we headed downstairs for our oh-so-posh continental breakfast. Nothing like an apple and a hard-boiled egg to settle your nervous stomach!

At 8:45, Dad and I met up with other family members at the famous IKEA parking lot, where I doled out tickets and instructions. We raced over to the Academy just in time to see part of the formal inspection. I searched through the sea of tan and green and spotted Jay. Just like during the Capitol Run, my stomach did a little nervous dance when I saw him. The uniform looked great and he looked so happy. He spotted me, too, and smiled. He also saw the girls and all the other family members that came to support him. Even from where I stood, I could tell that the sight of all his family there to support him made him a little emotional.

Inspection (Can you spot Jay?)

While inspection was wrapping up, my mom and I brought the girls over to the babysitting area. As we were signing them in, the soon-to-be-officers marched by and we were lucky enough to get a close-up view of Jay.

After the girls were all settled in the babysitting area, my Dad, Betsy, Jay's brother Jack and I made our way into the gym where the graduation ceremony took place. The rest of the family either headed to the "TV room" where the ceremony was being shown on television, or they waited outside due to the lack of tickets. My sister-in-law Cher was kind enough to take care of Dexter for me during the entire ceremony, which made it much easier for me to pay attention! Thanks, Cher!

The ceremony began with the playing of a song called "The Badge of Trust." This is a song that is played on the CHP website, and I have to admit, I usually think it's kind of cheesy. Jay and I have chuckled at it on more than one occassion. But let me tell you, when I saw Jay's class lined up to come into the gym, all in their uniforms, with that song playing in the background, well... I started to lose it. I tried to hold it together since the ceremony had just begun and I had to keep my make-up in tack for at least one more hour, but it wasn't easy.

The rest of the ceremony included various speakers and awards presentations, then culminated with each cadet walking across the stage to receive their badge and shake the Commissioner's hand. We weren't supposed to cheer until after all the cadets crossed the stage, so instead I started sobbing as soon as Jay's name was called. All the hard work, the months apart, the stress, the uncertainity of Academy life, all of it came back to me as he walked across the stage. I was so proud of him. He did it!!

When all the cadets received their badges, they were officially sworn in as California Highway Patrol officers. I was crying during the swearing in, too. It just made everything feel so REAL. Jay is an officer... he has taken an oath to protect and serve the people of California and to lay down his life if necessary. It is such a heavy responsibility, but I know that Jay is up to the task. He has received top-notch training and has gained strength and confidence to boot. I know he is going to be a great officer.

After the swearing in, the new officers marched out of the gym and headed out to the quad for the badge pinning. I personally had been looking forward to this part for months! Jay stood in his assigned place and, when instructed, held out his badge in his left hand. One of the sergeants then yelled out, "Badge pinners, approach your officer." I walked up to Jay and took the badge. "Badge pinners, please pin the badges!" I then pinned Jay's shiny new badge on his uniform, with all of our family standing by and cheering. Cue my tears (again)! I felt so honored to be the one to pin on Jay's badge. 27 weeks led up to that moment, and it was one that Jay and I will never forget.

After the badge pinning, the officers did one last "fountain ceremony." The fountain ceremony is a ceremony that honors the approximately 215 fallen CHP officers. When that was completed, the officers were free! Done! Finished! Jay's days at the Academy were over.

We all went to lunch at - where else - Ikea, then headed back to the Academy for the EVOC (driving) demonstration. It was pretty exciting to see the patrol cars whipping around the track, doing 360's, filling the air with their white tire smoke. I was slightly paranoid that one of the cars would lose control and crash into us all, but of course everything was fine.

After EVOC, Jay took us all on a tour of the Academy grounds. This is when the kids started to lose it. It had been a long day with no nap for Dexter and no rest for the girls. It was getting rough. So, Betsy took the girls home while I helped Jay clear out his room. Man, those rooms are small! Jay was so luckily to be roommate-free for the last several months. Anyway, he packed up, we walked around and talked for a few minutes, and then Jay went to the Staff office and turned in his keys. That's it. No more Academy! Hooray!

We are now enjoying Jay's week off until he reports for work on the 28th. This next phase is called "break-in," and by all accounts is as tough, if not tougher, than the Academy. He will be working long hours and there will be a lot of stress, but we will get through it. I am just so happy to know that I'll get to see him once a day. What a concept!

Thank you to all of you for your continued support throughout this journey. Your thoughts and prayers have meant more to us than you know. So thank you. That being said, don't think you can go speeding down 101 and get away with it now, k?

Capitol Run April 16th

Wednesday morning I woke up before the crack of dawn, threw on some jeans and my CTC-III-07 t-shirt, and headed out of my hotel room to meet some of the other cadet wives. We were headed to the Academy (well, outside of the Academy) to watch Jay's class start the Capitol Run. The Capitol Run is a tradition that each cadet class takes part in where they run about 5 1/2 miles from the Academy to the State Capitol building. I was so excited to be there that I didn't even care that my hands were numb and that my camera wasn't cooperating.

Waiting with the wives

As we waited for the senior class to come running out of the Academy, the wives and I chatted and tried to keep warm by holding cups of hot chocolate. It was awesome to see the junior class lined up along the sides of the road, waiting to honor their seniors. When the junior class turned on their flashlights, got in plank position, and yelled out "ooo-rah!" I squealed like a little girl.

The juniors lined up and waiting

At about 5:30 a.m., I saw the senior class coming. Actually I should say I heard the senior class coming. They were yelling out cadences as they ran, and the sound sent shivers up my spine. As they came running by we screamed and cheered for them, and I scanned the group for Jay. I wish I could explain the feeling I had when I saw him... I thought my heart was about to explode out of my chest. I was excited and proud and even started to get a little emotional. Jay spotted me, too, and smiled as he ran past. He even managed to sneak me a wave, which brought a few chuckles from the crowd.

After they ran out of the Academy grounds, the wives and I hopped in our cars and drove over to the State Capitol building where we waited for them to arrive. It was so exciting to see and hear them come running down the street, flanked by patrol cars and motorcycles. There were even some bystanders who dropped down and started to do push ups in honor of the cadets. We cheered and screamed and generally made fools of ourselves as they ran by.

When the cadets stopped, they had a brief ceremony with the Captain at the Fallen Peace Officers Memorial on the Capitol grounds. It was especially touching because the cadets were running in honor of Officer Tony Pedeferri of Ventura. (Click here for Tony's story.) After the speech by the Captain, the cadets ran to the other side of the Capitol building and we ran like maniacs after them. (Man, my shins were killing me the next day. I really need to get some regular exercise!) The cadets had their class picture taken and then put on a display of knuckle push ups. When they were done, they walked single file down the steps to shake hands with the Captain and some other higher-ups. I tried to get a good picture of Jay because he was right in front of me, but my camera was not cooperating. I got a good picture of his shoe, though. I was consoled by the fact that as he walked by, he sneakily patted my hip and smiled. It made my morning.

Jay is in the back row (middle)

Besides graduation (which I'll blog about shortly, I promise), the Capitol Run was the highlight of the week. I was so proud of Jay. It really wasn't that long ago that Jay was at his heaviest weight of all time. To think he would ever be running 5 1/2 miles seemed kind of silly... and now... well, now I know he can do anything. I always had faith in him, but to see it all come to fruition is a feeling that I just can't describe. (And if you think the Capitol Run made me emotional, just wait until I tell you about graduation!)

Week 26, ya'll!

I think that face says it all, right?

Week 26 is done and we are now in the final week of the Academy. Aw, yeah! I can't even put into words how great it feels to be less than a week from graduation.

I've been so preoccupied with graduation prep and Spring Break that I hardly remember what happened at the Academy last week. Hmmm, let's see... he had some boring HazMat classes, learned a lot about terrorist attacks, and ... yeah, that pretty much sums it up. In week 25 they received their badge numbers, and last week they received their police ID's. It's so official! All he needs is to get through this week and get that badge, baby!

So tomorrow I leave for my graduation-week-mini-vacation. That's right - just me! Nana and Grandma are sharing the kid-watching duties until Friday, and I am so grateful. The CHP has some things planned for the week, and some of the other cadet wives and I have some plans of our own. Wednesday night is the debut of The Dress at the cadet party, and Friday is The Big Day! I am so excited, I can hardly draft a coherent post. I'm writing under the influence of giddiness, you know, so don't judge me.

I will have a probably-too-lengthy graduation report for you all next week. Until then - ciao!

Dexter is one!

Friday was Dexter's first birthday! Where in the world has the time gone?

We celebrated Sunday with a very small family gathering and some yummy mayonnaise cake. Dexter didn't quite understand the present opening, but he certainly enjoyed his new presents! The biggest challenge of the day was keeping his almost-4 and almost-6 year old sisters away from his new toys. If it's marked "for ages 1-2," they can't keep their hands off of it.

Dex's original birthday - he was so big!

Dex's first birthday - he's still so big!

Below is a short slideshow of his birthday festivities for any of you who are so inclined. (It's always fun to see a baby eat cake!)

My Trip to Lucky's or How I Spent My Spring Break

What is it about the grocery store that makes children turn into little disobedient monkeys?

First of all, the girls insisted on the pink car cart. You know, the one that's a complete beast to maneuver? The one that they think is fun for the first five minutes and then decide to get in and out of 400 times? And why is it that when they get out they without fail decide to stand right in front of the cart? It's like they are begging to get run over so they can slap me with a lawsuit.

I don't know if I even have the energy to go into the details of the trip, but let's just say this: Besides the cart fiasco, the whining for this and that, Bea dropping a jar of pickles, and the complete lack of good sales ($1.59 for canned green beans? I think not.), this trip came with an extra-special ending. After an hour of shooting down 99% of the girls' requests and trying to keep a screaming Dexter happy, I pulled the massive cart into the checkout line. I unloaded the groceries and got out my wallet ... oh no oh no oh no oh no!!!! Then I started saying it out loud, "oh no oh no oh no," as my cheeks burned red. The cashier astutely asks, "Is something wrong?" YES!! Something is wrong!!! My debit card is in the back pocket of my jeans... my other jeans! And the only credit card I carry happens to be expired. Fan-freakin-tastic.

Talk about embarrassing. The girls are wondering what's wrong as we start to leave the store without food, when the very helpful bagger lady tells them "Mommy didn't have enough money so she has to come back." NO, that is not what happened lady! I can pay for my groceries! I'm just an idiot for never putting my card back in my wallet. Ugh! So the cashier, who actually was very nice, put my cart in grocery jail while I loaded up the kids, drove home, got my debit card, drove back, unloaded the kids, waited to bail out my groceries, and finished checking out.

Man. I think I'm going to use safeway.com from now on... I don't even care about the $10 delivery fee anymore.

25 down, 2 to go!

This is going to be a short recap, folks. (Is that a "hallelujah" I hear?)

Week 25 was focused on one thing: emergency medical response. The cadets spent all day every day learning CPR and many other lifesaving techniques. The CHP is almost always the first on the scene of an accident, so the knowledge the cadets gained this week is essential. You never know if you might be able to do something to save someone's life in the time it takes for the paramedics to arrive.

One thing he learned to do was deliver a baby! You'd be surprised how often officers have to do that. In fact, one of Jay's instructors has done it twice! And a few months ago Jay told me about an officer (someone he went on a ride along with, actually) who was driving his pregnant wife to the hospital but there just wasn't enough time. He pulled over and had to deliver his own child. Amazing! So, obviously, now that Jay's a certified EMR (Emergency Medical Responder), I'm totally having him deliver any future children we may have...................what? Does that not sound like something I would do?

So week 25 is done and we have 2 weeks to go. Only one more sad Sunday goodbye, I can't believe it. I'm a little preoccupied with graduation week preparation, but it's a good preoccupied. I just wish we were given more tickets to the ceremony... I'm so proud of Jay, I want to invite the world!

Lookin' good!

In case you can't tell what this is, it's the "Countdown to Daddy's Graduation" calendar that hangs on our fridge. We've been crossing off a square every day for almost six months. I can't tell you how happy I'll be to get that thing off my fridge. :)

110th post!

This post idea is completely ripped off from my friend Brenda, who, in celebration of her 100th post, wrote down 100 things about herself. It made me wonder how many posts I’ve written, so I checked it out. Imagine my surprise when I saw that this would be my 110th post! I had no idea. I thought about waiting until my 150th post to do this, but who wants to think about 150 things about themselves? So here you go... 110 little known facts about moi.

1. I am extremely grateful to be living in a time of washing machines, computers, and automatic cars.

2. The more passionately I feel about something, the harder time I have debating about it. I become frustrated, hurt, and inarticulate.

3. I love to shop for myself but only if Jay is with me. He has a great fashion sense. He’s my own personal Clinton Kelly.

4. I hate hate hate to mop.

5. I refuse to play “Sorry.” Because no one’s really sorry.

6. I love to sing even if I’m not very good at it. Some of my favorite memories are from singing in the church choir. Thank goodness we don’t have to audition!

7. I attended Mills College, an all-women’s college in Oakland, but left after two years. I also went to fashion design school.

8. I check my email way too much.

9. I am a convert to my church and joined when I was 15 years old. My parents were very supportive and I’ll always be grateful for that. It was the best decision I ever made!

10. I catch myself saying things that sound just like my mom on an almost-daily basis.

11. Sometimes I feel like the Cameron Fry to Jay’s Ferris Bueller.

12. It makes me sad that one day Dexter won’t like me attacking his cheeks anymore.

13. I love picking out baby names. It takes me all 9 months of my pregnancy... that’s with thinking about it in-between pregnancies, too.

14. I really hit the jackpot when I married Jay.

15. I actually don’t mind doing laundry. I’m not so good at putting it away, though.

16. I am one of those weird people who love their mother-in-law.

17. My bathroom looks like The Emerald City.

18. I have a fear of talking on the phone, especially to people I don’t know. I always make Jay order the pizza.

19. My favorite color is red.

20. One of the first things I loved about Jay was that he loves to dance. We are total dorks on the dance floor and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

21. I plan on going back to school one day. What for is anyone’s guess.

22. I think my daughters are beautiful and my son is handsome. Sometimes I just stare at them when they’re not looking and wonder how I created such gorgeous children.

23. When I was in my early 20’s I went through a phase of thinking I wanted to be in law enforcement. Instead, I married a man who wanted to be in law enforcement. It’s better this way.

24. I am really good at Excel. At my former job, creating cool spreadsheets was my creative outlet.

25. I love to blog and obsessively check to see who has left comments (hint, hint).

26. I have the world’s oldest computer monitor, and the world’s crappiest DSL connection.

27. I have been to Israel and Jordan, but never to Mexico.

28. I love doing my family history and wish I had more time to devote to it.

29. I love it when my kids are old enough to go to the nursery at church.

30. I get obsessed intensely passionate about things for a time, then eventually the passion fades, although I always still enjoy whatever it is I was passionate about. (does that make sense?) Examples: Les Miserables, Harry Potter, and politics.

31. I hate that I flutter my eyelids. Please don’t point it out to me if I do it to you.

32. Some days I feel like the world’s crappiest mom.

33. I have had many people tell me I look like Mary Tyler Moore. That's OK with me.
34. It is my personal ambition to stump Jay on as many movie quotes as possible... not an easy task.

35. I think having just one kid is really hard. When it was just me and Natalie at home, I would just stare at her... “so, what do we do now?” Having 3 kids is much more entertaining.

36. My favorite dessert is my family’s mayonnaise cake.

37. I am a creative soul burdened with the mind of an accountant.

38. I am amazingly good at blocking out unpleasant memories. Maybe that’s why I only remember ¼ of junior high.

39. I lived in Vermont from the time I was 3 until I was almost 9.

40. I am a planner. It’s a trait I inherited from my mom.

41. I have every one of the original Nancy Drew books, all locked safely away in a cabinet. My friends and I used to play “Nancy Drew” all the time, and of course, I was always the teenage sleuth herself.

42. I love stationary, invitations, and thank you cards. And even though I love email, there is something so sweet about sending or receiving a handwritten note.

43. My favorite holiday is Christmas, even though it’s the only thing Jay and I ever fight about.

44. All three of my kids have been born by c-section. You would be amazed at the rude comments I’ve heard about it, too.

45. As evidenced by #44, I don’t think women support each other like they should. We can be so catty and insensitive.

46. I was actually born blond, like Bea. My hair darkened over time until it reached its current “almost black” (according to Natalie) shade.

47. I can’t wait to go on a mission with Jay. I hope we get to go on one of each kind – proselyting, temple, humanitarian, family history, etc.

48. My favorite book is Persuasion, by the one and only Jane Austen.

49. One of my pet peeves is when people spell Austen as Austin.

50. I get stressed out about trying something new, but usually have fun once I’m doing it.

51. I think one of the coolest jobs in the world would be to name lipstick colors. Really, who gets to do that?!?

52. My favorite book of the bible is the book of James. The whole thing is just awesome and always gives me something to think about.

53. One of my favorite dates with Jay was on our 6th anniversary – a picnic in Vasona, milkshakes, at Johnny Rocket’s, a round of minature golf, and roller skating.

54. I like brussel sprouts – honestly!

55. I didn’t eat red meat for about 10 years, until I was pregnant with Natalie and HAD to have Taco Bell tacos and my mom’s meatloaf.

56. In elementary school I was invited to a “We Write Well” conference, and at first thought it was because I had good penmanship.

57. I actually don’t have good penmanship, but my mom does. Her writing is just beautiful.

58. Once, while running track in junior high, my track shoe came off during the last quarter of the lap. I still finished in second place. I was given the nickname “Amy One Shoe Teutschman.”

59. I did not go to kindergarten.

60. All three of my kids are named after someone I love. In Bea’s case, both her first and middle names are after someone I love.

61. Jay’s favorite thing to tease me about is that I once wore a beret. Hey, it was high school and I was in Ashland, Oregon for the Shakespeare Festival. I looked cute, dang it. I would include a picture if I could find it....

62. I probably won’t own a home again until I’m 50, and I’m OK with that.

63. I am a little nervous about adjusting to life after Jay returns from the Academy.

64. I really like volunteering in the girls’ classrooms.

65. Most common phrase uttered in my house: Settle down!

66. I’m starting to think that this “110 Things About Myself” post wasn’t the best idea... I’m having writer’s block!

67. I have 500lbs of wheat in my garage and no idea how to make homemade bread. I tried once and it didn’t quite turn out. Just reading how to do it isn’t enough... I need someone to show me. Any takers?

68. Guilty pleasure: cheesy, sappy Nicholas Sparks novels.

69. As a kid, my bedtime was 8 o’clock. I remember this because I always fell asleep to the theme song from “Simon & Simon” coming from the living room.

70. I like to pepper my blog posts with movie quotes from time to time. Sometimes you guys catch them.

71.I believe I live in the greatest country on earth. And I think too many of us forget all the blessings that come from living here.

72. For a while I was a mystery shopper. It was fun, but not really worth it.

73. I love baseball.

74. I love it when Dexter claps. It is so cute, it makes me want to just pinch his cheeks.

75. I was a coxswain for the Mills College rowing team for a year. It was a blast, but I couldn’t handle the early morning wake up anymore.

76. One of my favorite places in the world is the Oakland Temple. I don’t even have to go inside ... just being on the grounds is peaceful and comforting.

77. One of my favorite things about Bea is her sense of humor. She really is funny and charming.

78. If I could be anyone from literature, it would probably be Eowyn from Lord of the Rings. Bet you thought I was going to say Lizzy Bennett, huh?

79. Nothing scares me more than something happening to my children or Jay. I feel so lucky to know that no matter what happens, we are a family forever.

80. One of my favorite things about Natalie is her kind heart. She is very sensitive to the feelings of others and wants them to be happy.

81. I am really tired of IKEA meatballs.

82. Jay claims that I secretly got the girls a dollhouse because I wanted to play with it. He’s right.

83. I think The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain is perhaps the most boring movie ever made.

84. Spiderman is my favorite superhero... although Christian Bale’s Batman doesn’t burn my retinas. (That’s for you, Robin.)

85. I like the second trimester of pregnancy, when people can finally tell that you’re pregnant but you don’t yet look like a bloated walrus.

86. I have a semi-irrational fear of knives.

87. I had braces for what seemed like forever. I didn’t show a proper smile from 8th grade until the summer after my sophomore year in high school.

88. I enjoy coloring with my kids. It’s sort of relaxing. I need to have sharp crayons, though.

89. I wish I was a little more easy-going. I can be a stress case, and I dislike that about myself.

90. Like Brenda said, listening to hymns is the quickest way for me to feel the spirit. It would probably be a good idea to listen to them more often.

91. When I was a kid, I loved loved loved it when my mom would put a little note in my lunchbox. I try to do that for my girls often.

92. If money wasn’t an object and I didn’t have to transport kids, I would so cruise around in a Shelby Cobra.

93. I am not into scrapbooking, sewing, or anything crafty.

94. I know every word to Copa Cabana.

95. My favorite activity in high school and college was drama. I have been in several plays, musicals, and talent shows, none of which are on video, thankfully.

96. Despite the fact that my sister is a hairdresser, I am horrible at taking care of my hair. I got it cut in March, but before that it was October!

97. I firmly believe that The Office is second only to Seinfeld in greatness and quotability.

98. I passed on my thumb-sucking gene to all three of my children.

99. I really should be cleaning the house right now.

100. I actually owned and wore a pair of red Wranglers.

101. As a teenager I was so obsessed with Les Miserables that I was 100% sure I would name my daughter Eponine. One day Natalie will thank me.

102. If I had $20 and one hour to myself, I would go to a bookstore.

103. I am afraid of big dogs, and not really that fond of little ones, either. The only exception is my grandparents’ sweet dog, Tara.

104. My current favorite song is "Hey There Delilah." It makes me smile.

105. I am so glad we don’t have television in the house. Well, we have a television, but no cable, satellite, or bunny ears. It is wonderful to not be bombarded with all the junk that is out there.

106. Camping is really not my thing, and it’s probably not for the reason you think.

107. I once convinced my freshman homeroom class that I had a tattoo of a dancing John Travolta on my left hip.

108. I have come to understand that happiness doesn’t come from what you have, but from who you are and who you have around you.

109. I’m sure the best and most beautiful sound in the world is Jay making our children laugh.

110. I have a great life!

What a jip!

Last weekend we purchased a bag of Mother's Cookie Parade cookies. After the kids went to bed, Jay popped in a movie, sat down on the couch, and opened the bag. I was in another room at the time and all I heard was a loud, "WHAT?!" I rushed to the living room to see what the problem was and saw this:

You're probably thinking the same thing that I was thinking, which was, "well, it is sold by weight and not volume." Still, even as I said those words outloud I knew something was rotten in cookieville. Here, in its full color glory, is proof that Mother's totally ripped us off:

Weight of yummy Cookie Parade cookies we paid for:

Weight we received:

(Yes, I actually weighed it.) That's 4.9 ounces - missing!!! It's 1/3 of the bag!

I was so irritated, I was planning this big 'ol mail campaign to Mother's, complete with 8x10 glossies of their lies, plus a boycott of all Mother's products. Instead, I took some pictures and then Jay and I polished off the 9.7 ounces we had. And who am I kidding? I can boycott things like Carl's Jr. or McDonald's, but not Mother's cookies... seriously, have you ever had their Taffy's? One thing's for sure, though... next grocery run, I'm bringing a scale.