Caught Red Handed!

The Evidence

Ok, I'll admit it. I've been known to swipe my kid's Halloween candy. I look at it as a public service since no one should have to see my kids hyped up on that much sugar. Anyway, tonight I ate one of Natalie's peanut butter cups after she was asleep. At least I thought she was asleep. Sneaky little girl... I didn't even hear her coming!

"Mommy, is that mine?"

Uhhhhhh... I was at a loss for words. So I lied. "It's mine, sweetie." (Look - don't judge me! You weren't there!)

"Where did you get it?"

Crap. Why did I ever let her go to Kindergarten? She's getting too smart.

"Mommy has candy too, sweetie." Now that's not a lie. I do have candy... it's just not this candy. So I shooed her off to bed and I feel slightly guilty about lying to my innocent child, but... I'm sure another piece of candy will help me get over it.

Here are the little rascals.... I think the Chicken has a future as a detective. Watch out, there could be two Officer Fear's one day!

In CHP news...

Jay is doing well although he still dreads PT. He has scored well on all of his academic tests so far and is enjoying what he's learning. Of course that could all change tomorrow. Such is the life of a CHP Cadet. Today they practiced writing their first ticket! Cool! They also boxed a little in PMA (Physical Methods of Arrest) class. Surprisingly, he enjoyed it. That's good though, because they'll be doing more of it later on.

Jay had liberty tonight but we decided not to go see him because it's Halloween. (And again, Natalie now knows the calendar so I can't tell her that Saturday's Halloween party at church was The Real Thing.)

So for liberty he visited his brother Jack in Sacto, which he enjoyed. He also had to stop at The Evil Empire to try to find a pair of navy or black swim trunks. Apparently they are swimming in PT on Friday and Jay's red trunks are not going to fly, even though the paperwork we received from the Academy did not specify a color. *sigh* It's Halloween, people! Do they even sell swim trunks this time of year? Oh well... what can you do? It's not like we haven't spent a fortune on odds & ends for the Academy already. We're made of money so it's no big deal.

Seriously, I'm convinced that Jay really comes from a very wealthy family and he just hasn't told me yet because he wants to make sure I love him for HIM, not for the money.

Come on, babe. I think I've proven it by now. Just tell me... you're stinkin' rich, aren't you?

Week 2 CHP Class Blog up!

The second of the CHP class blogs is up!

http://www.chp.ca.gov/cadet/07-III.html

There is also a link to pictures at the top. Jay isn't in any of these pictures because these are pics of Company B (Jay is Company A), but his good friend Craig is in the 9th one down. He's the guy second from the end in the middle row, looking like he's concentrating. *smile* It's interesting to see what they're doing while they're away from us!

Laundry and pumpkins and cake... oh my!

The weekend started with me pulling a week’s worth of disgusting, wet, smelly Academy laundry out of Jay’s bag and shoving it into the washing machine with as little physical contact as possible. After the laundry was clean and dry, Jay pressed his uniforms with a fancy military press. He’s a much better ironer than I am. At least that’s what I’ve told him.

After laundry and a little studying, we took a quick trip to a small pumpkin patch (aka: pumpkins in a parking lot). The girls were more interested in the bouncy house than the pumpkins, but eventually we were able to choose three.

Sunday was church, where Natalie was part of the Primary program presentation. (Primary is the name of the church organization for kids ages 3-12.) We were able to hear about what the kids have been learning all year, and Natalie did a great job with her part and with the singing as well. I can’t believe Bea will be in the Primary program next year. Time is flying!

We also celebrated Jay’s birthday today because his actual birthday takes place during the week. For his birthday I let him “bic” his head. Not only did that present make him happy, but it fit within our budget, too! Of course, he now looks like Lex Luther, but that is neither here nor there. In celebration of his bday, we had yummy lasagna and, of course, mayonnaise cake. Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!

Happy Birthday, schmoopy.


And now it’s Sunday night, he’s off to the Academy again, and I’m missing him. I do not like Sunday nights. This one is a little better than last week, but I have a feeling that even at week 20, saying goodbye will still be hard. To cheer me up from this depressing fact, I will end this post with a picture of my adorable son. How can anyone possibly be sad when looking at this face?

Phew! End of Week 2

The last day of Week 2 was a pretty good one for Jay, especially when contrasted with the beginning of the week. (see previous post)

Friday started with a rough PT workout, but Jay made it through again. Yeah! Pull-ups continue to be the bane of his existence but I have confidence that he will conquer them soon. Or at least by the time he’s a senior. And if not... dinkin flicka! You don’t need to do pull-ups to graduate... I think...

After Friday’s PT, on his way to breakfast, a yell is hurdled at Jay from somewhere behind him:

SS: “Hey you!”
Uh-oh.
SS: “Did you even look in the mirror this morning, cadet?!”
Jay: “Yes, ma’am!”
SS: “Are you sure?!”
Jay (knowing he must have missed something): “I think so, ma’am!”
SS: “Then WHY is your back pocket button undone?!?!?! Fix it!!”

The uniform rules are very strict – everything needs to be done perfectly. Jay and his roommates usually look each other over every morning to make sure they haven’t forgotten anything, but apparently they all missed Jay’s back pocket button that morning. Of course, since it was just a bit of yelling it wasn’t that bad. But now that he’s passed the SOP test (whoo hoo!), that kind of small mistake could result in a gig if the Staff Sergeant (SS) got up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.

I realize I’ve focused a lot on the negatives of the Academy (because they make for better stories) however, there are a lot of things that Jay is enjoying. For example, he is enjoying the Vehicle Code and Penal Code classes. He is learning a lot and finding it all very interesting, which is good since it’s going to be his career for the next 25+ years. He especially likes his Penal Code class because the instructor keeps them all laughing and has been known to use Terry Tate videos as part of his instruction. And if you don’t know who Terry Tate is, I highly suggest going here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94

So far there have been good days and bad days, but in general Jay seems really happy and grateful to be there, training for the career of his dreams. Keep sending happy thoughts and prayers his way... he is feeling them and appreciates them more than you know. He swears that’s how he’s getting through PT every morning, and I’m sure he’s right. So thank you!

Mall Cop

Grueling PT, additional PT testing and an obstacle course, being yelled at, and missing home were the order of the day for Our Cadet on Monday. When he called that night I could tell he was exhausted and more than ready for the day to be done. Plus, because he had received 2 gigs* that day he wasn’t sure if he would be granted liberty* Wednesday night. He was not happy. He seemed a little better after we chatted, but I went to bed really worried about him. I didn’t think he would be knocking on our door in two hours, bags in hand, but I just hated knowing there was nothing I could do to help (except pray, which I did fervently).

I spent most of Tuesday waiting for Jay to call at 8, and when he did, boy... I could tell right away that he was in a better mood. He didn’t have PT that day, and that combined with a good night’s sleep really did wonders for his mood. Plus, he told me he would in fact have liberty on Wednesday. Whoo hooo!! Sacramento road trip!

Tuesday was also a minor milestone for the cadets... they received their first equipment items: the baton and handcuffs. Jay told me, “I feel like an official mall cop now!” They were issued the equipment because they started PMA class, or Physical Methods of Arrest. This class is taught by the dreaded PT staff, but apparently they were a little nicer than they are during PT. Instead of screaming at everyone they said things like “You can ask us any questions you want, just make sure they’re not stupid!!” Fantastic. Really makes you want to raise your hand.

Wednesday the kids and I drove up to Sacto to meet Jay at IKEA for dinner (mmmm, Swedish meatballs) and hanging out. The girls were almost as excited about seeing the Hartley’s there as they were about seeing Daddy. We had a wonderful time and Jay looked really good and his spirits were up. He had completed the entire PT workout that day without getting yelled at! High Five! Plus, he’s enjoying the academics and even feeling more comfortable with Drill.

He hasn’t called yet tonight but I’m anxious to hear how today went. He had three tests, including the SOP* test. Once the SOP test is completed, the cadets have to be really careful because that means they should know (in theory) all the Academy rules and regulations and whenever they break one... gig time (or worse).

All in all, I’m excited that tomorrow is Friday and Jay will be home again for the weekend. Things seem to be moving by at a pretty good pace. Hopefully it stays that way.


*see Handy Dandy CHP Terminology Guide to your right!

Clean Plate Club

Here we have a rare glimpse of Beatrice with a clean plate...

I thought I should document it because it's likely to never happen again.

Jay's Academy Class Blog

So... the CHP does short little blogs each week for each Academy class. The first of Jay's class blogs is up!! Check it out at:

http://www.chp.ca.gov/cadet

Under "Blogs" click on III-07. This is Jay's class. Above the message there is a link for pictures. Jay won't always be in the pictures but he's in one of them this time (3rd pic from the bottom). See if you can spot him in the sea of bald heads.

Starting class size: 188
Remaining cadets: 184

Huffing and puffing

Week 1 is done!

It is so exciting to have an entire week crossed off of our “Countdown to Daddy’s Graduation” calendar. There are 26 more to go, but... we’re trying to focus on the positive.

Jay’s last day of Week 1 was extremely challenging, and it was all due to Physical Training (from here on out referred to as PT or H-E-Double-Hockeysticks). Friday was their first full-blown workout and to say that it was difficult is a serious understatement. The PT instructors are machines... they get paid to stay in prime-time physical shape... and they like to yell.

I’m not going to detail the workout because I don’t think I could do it justice. I’ll just say they did extremely strenuous floor exercises over and over and over again. And if they were supposed to be counting to 30 and the PT Instructor couldn’t hear them, he would say “What number are we at? Oh, ZERO, that’s right...” and start them all over again. That’s just cold.

Only about 1/3 of Jay’s company was able to complete the hour-long routine. Jay was not among that 1/3, but he kept up for quite a while. Even the ex-marines in Jay’s company didn’t make it through. When you don’t complete the entire routine, you are made to lie face down on your mat after receiving a severe tongue-lashing for being “weak,” “lazy,” “fat,” or something along those lines. So Jay’s lying there, his head face down in a pool of sweat, and he hears the PT Instructor holler that it’s time for pull-ups. Yippee. At least for pull-ups the person behind you is allowed to help lift you up if you can’t do it on your own. When it was Jay’s turn, he walked to the pull-up bar, turned around and who’s behind him? Some guy about my weight and height. Jay looked at him and silently mouthed “I’m sorry.”

After pull-ups it was time for the “Challenge Run,” also known as the “Pork Run.” It’s a 4 (maybe 5 or 6, I forget) mile run around the Academy grounds and they start at about a 6 min mile pace. There is a van following behind the runners in case someone’s on the brink of death or something. Jay was keeping up with the front-runners for the first couple of miles until the were passing by the EVOC course and then he just couldn’t continue... he needed to walk for just a minute... unfortunately for him, one of the PT Instructors (who we will call Sgt G) saw him and started running along side of him, yelling at the top of his lungs something like this:

Sgt G: FEAR!! What are you doing? Why are you walking?!
(Jay starts jogging, Sgt G right along side of him).
Sgt G: FEAR! You’re walking right in front of the EVOC staff!! What does that say about my PT training?!? Get moving!
Jay: (huff, puff) Yes, sir!
(Jay is now huffing and puffing, trying to keep up with Sgt G’s pace)
Sgt G: FEAR! Stop sucking all the good air!!! Some guy hears you huffing and puffing like that and he’ll know he’s got you!!
Jay: (huff, puff) Yes, sir!
Sgt G: Are you going to have a heart attack Fear?! (not said in a tone of concern, btw)
Jay: No, sir!
Sgt G: That’s right, you know why?! Because you have no heart!! Why don’t you just quit?! Why don’t you just give up? I’ll walk you to the office myself!! Come on, just quit!!
Jay: No, sir!

I should note that Jay is not the only one getting this treatment.

So, Sgt G moves on to someone else and Jay is able to walk briskly for a minute. Coming up behind him are a few cadets that sit next to him in class, and they encouraged him to keep running. He finished the run in the top half of his company – yeah!! And he didn’t have to get a ride in the van! Double yeah!!

All in all, out of the 185 people his class, only about 6 were able to complete the PT workout, the pull-ups, and complete the run. So only those 6 get to keep their official PT shirt. The rest of the group is now referred to as “marshmallows” (because they’re soft, you see...) and they are required to wear plain white shirts to PT with their names on the back in puffy, marshmallow-like writing. They have to earn their official shirt back.

So that was the end of week 1. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that Jay was thrilled to come home Friday evening. And of course we were happy beyond words to have him with us. It was not a relaxing weekend by any stretch of the imagination, because Jay had a lot of homework and errands, not to mention laundry and uniform pressing, BUT... we were together and that’s what matters.


Sunday evening stunk. I knew that it would be harder to say good-bye this weekend than it was when he left for his first day, but I didn’t realize it would be this hard. The girls were sad, I was trying to hold back tears, and Jay was trying to hold it together, too. But, we know it’s the best thing. He needs to be there, 100% focused on his training. It’s going to be a long six months, but in the end, he will have accomplished something few have, and he will have a fantastic career that he can be proud of. Here’s hoping we survive week 2!!!

And now, for an Academy update...

Yesterday, Day 4, left a lot to be desired.

The cadets started Physical Training (PT) and not only was it extremely challenging, but the instructors apparently make the Drill Sergeants look like nice, cuddly guys. Imagine doing the most strenuous floor exercises known to man while yelling out cadences and having someone’s hot breath in your face… mmmm, fun!

Jay felt pretty good about his performance, even though he and the other cadets could have filled up buckets with their sweat. Of course after they were done with the workout the head PT instructor informed them all that this was a light workout and tomorrow (Friday) the real fun begins. And they haven’t even started running.

So the first day of PT claimed two more cadets.
Starting class size = 188. End of Day 4 = 185.
(I should note that these cadets left voluntarily.)

In addition to the PT, they had their first criminal justice class and Jay and his roommates also had their room inspected. Jay came back to the room and all the mattresses and blankets were all over the place. Mmmm… guess they did something wrong… maybe the hospital corner wasn’t exactly 45 degrees? It’s not like they get a note from “their friendly neighborhood Staff Sergeant” telling them what was wrong, so they just have to hope they figure it out on their own before next time.

Still, even with all this, Jay sounds upbeat. The main thing is the lack of time. They are moving as if there is a fire under their butt 100% of the time. For example, they have drill practice that ends at 7:50 and then they have to go across the Academy, change into their PT clothes, and get to the gym by 8 (a challenge in itself) plus they are supposed to be 15 minutes early for everything so that means they are late to PT even before drill practice is over. And even any “waiting” time before class starts is filled with studying. Everyone told us that they wouldn’t have any time, but it’s one of those things you don’t really understand until you’re in it.

The good (great) news is that Jay comes home tonight for the weekend. Yeah!!! We are all so excited to see him, even if the weekend will be filled with laundry, uniform pressing, running errands, and studying. At least we will be together!

The new pose

I solemnly swear I did not teach her this.

Here she mixes it up a little:

Although I didn't teach her all these poses, I have to admit, "I think she gets it from me." I loved the camera when I was her age, too. In fact, if you ever see a picture of my sister as an 8 year old, chances are I'm somewhere in the background, sneaking in the shot.

He called!!

I talked to Jay... whoo hoo! The phone rang at 8:02 last night and I don't think I've ever moved that fast in my life. He sounded upbeat and cheerful despite the fact that he got seriously yelled at for forgetting to update his address on his license. Whoops! I am just so relieved that he sounded upbeat. Who knows what today will bring, but at least the kids and I were able to cross off Oct 15th.

Class starting size = 188.
End of Day 1 = 187
Yikes!

I am the wife of a CHP Cadet

This weekend has been a blur.

Friday was the big party to celebrate all the changes happening in our life and the lives of our friends the Hartley’s. We had a great turnout and I even got both Robin and Janet to go into the bounce house! (They’re not just for kids anymore, you know.) I cannot post the picture of Robin in the bounce house because it’s possible she will kill me, but I think I can get away with posting one of Janet. And if not… too late, Janet!

We truly appreciated all the people who came to wish Jay and Craig good luck in the Academy. Thank you, everyone, for your support. We are so blessed to have so many true blue friends.

Saturday went by way too fast. At one point I caught a glimpse of Jay playing and singing with the girls and I couldn’t stop staring. I wanted to burn the image into my retinas, and I think I was successful. What a wonderful dad he is.

Sunday my fantastic-one-of-a-kind-mother-in-law stayed with the kids while Jay and I made our way to Sacramento in the ‘Rolla (freshly washed after receiving some “goodbye wishes” from my now-former-coworkers). We made it in good time but, along with the Hartley's, thought we were too early for the orientation. So we wasted some time wandering around The Evil Empire known as Walmart and then headed over to the Academy for orientation.

This orientation was specifically for the incoming Cadets and their families. Let me tell ya… we should not have farted around in Walmart for so long. We weren’t late, but a CHP motto is “On time is late and early is on time.” So we (or at least Janet & I) felt a little conspicuous walking into a full gym and trying to find seats. But we did find some and were able to enjoy the orientation and the tour of the Academy grounds. The only thing I’ll say about it is this: DANG … those are some small rooms. 3 Cadets to a room as big as some people’s walk-in closets, and 4 rooms to a quad. The quad-mates share a bathroom (4 sinks, 2 showers, 2 toilets). Man… it’s going to be stinky in there.

After the orientation we checked into the hotel, grabbed some lunch, came back for a much needed nap, and then headed out to the Unofficial Cadet Dinner at the Hard Rock Café. It was great to meet other Cadets and their spouses, but I have to say that at that point I was DONE. Done with the speculation, done with the waiting. The dinner conversations were actually just stressing me out more… one cadet was told this, another cadet heard that, this cadet’s wife read something completely the opposite. All I wanted was to go back to the hotel and try to sleep…

Unfortunately that wasn’t going to be in the cards for a few more hours because one helpful thing we did learn at the dinner was that the Cadets were not supposed to wear their boots with their suits on Day 1, they were supposed to wear dress shoes. Crap. Jay did not bring dress shoes. So… after dinner, off to Walmart we went again, and this time they got some of my money. We bought Jay the first pair of black leather dress shoes that we thought could take a shine. ($19.88, baby… only at Walmart.) We also bought a smaller bag and when we got back to the hotel Jay repacked his bag, leaving some things in a second bag in the car. We’re hoping he’ll be allowed to go back and get his second back in the next few days, otherwise he’ll be wearing very stinky socks.

Neither one of us slept too well Sunday night (shocking, I know) but we didn’t oversleep, and that’s what’s important. I guess with the wake-up call, the alarm clock, two cell phone alarms and a 5:30 a.m. call from Craig we would have had a hard time oversleeping. Still, you don’t want to take any chances and end up like Jean-Paul Jean-Paul! (5 Shrutebucks to whoever can name that reference.)

And then, 6:30 came; I said goodbye to my studly looking hubby and sent him on his way to the CHP Academy. Both he and Craig looked confident and to tell the truth, I felt much better than I did the night before. It must have been all the prayers!

And now I’m sitting here, wondering if he will call and stuffing my face with the box of chocolates I forbad Jay to eat before he went in. He’s lucky I don’t like the nutty ones; I might actually save him one. Or if I’m desperate I’ll just lick off all the chocolate and throw out the nuts. I’m just saying… it might come to that. There’s no telling.

If you stuck with this long post… thank you! And if you have a few prayers to spare, we wouldn’t mind being the recipients!

Whose kids are those?

An example of the behaviors I will have to undo once I'm a stay-at-home mom again:

It's been over 2 1/2 years since Jay became the stay-at-home parent, and now he's about to embark on the career of his dreams. He has done a fantastic job raising our children, even if the girls now think that "tooting," picking your nose, and all forms of the word "bum" are roll-on-the-floor-hilarious.

We really are going to miss him terribly.

Thanks for a great 2 1/2 years, Dad.

Bea's Big Day!

Watch out world! Here comes Beatrice!

Finally. Bea is in preschool. It seems like the time between Natalie starting kindergarten and Bea starting preschool has crawled by. Everyday Natalie would come home from school and tell us about her day, and Bea would sit on the sidelines, sad and forlorn.

But no more!

Beatrice started Miss Samantha's class this week and she couldn't be happier. This class is special in that Bea is integrated with kids with learning disabilities. (Natalie was in this same program.) We like it because the kids play and learn together and there is no discrimination between the "typical" kids and the kids with disabilities. But what I'm really excited about is that Bea now has something of her OWN. She has her own class, her own teacher, and her own friends.

When she came home after the first day she was so proud to have her own school paperwork. (Nevermind that the paperwork was actually for the parents!) She insisted on keeping it in her special bin in her room, and I wasn't about to argue.

Neither Jay nor I know what life is like as a middle child because we are both the babies of our families, but I know it must be difficult for Bea. She wants to be "big" like Natalie but she also reverts back to acting like a baby in order to compete with Dexter. I really REALLY hope that being in preschool and making her own friends helps her find her place. She's so sweet and special... and we love her more than 1000 dinosaurs on top of 1000 mountaintops.

All About Dex

Our (not so) little guy!

Dex's favorite things:

Food. He would eat bacon if I let him, but he's not too fond of green beans. Anything crinkley. Bag of M&M's = entertainment!
Laughing at his sisters. They can get him going faster than anyone else. The Snuggly. He wants to see the world!

The stats:

6 months old next week (agh!)
20 lbs, but feels like 40

Thumb sucker - currently prefers the left one

Part lizard (evidence above)

He is growing up so fast, which is good, because he's going to be the man of the house when Daddy's in the Academy!