Ride Along Weekend

Week 24 was a blissfully short week. It was “ride along weekend,” where the cadets get to go on a ride along in their assigned office. Many cadets have to travel on Friday, do their ride along on Saturday, and look for a place to live in their new area during their remaining weekend hours. Since we didn’t have to spend time traveling or house hunting, Jay was able to come home Thursday night and we were able to enjoy a few extra hours together on Friday.

Jay’s ride along was scheduled for the swing shift (1:30 – 9:30 p.m.) on Friday. Before he went to the office, he took the opportunity to take Natalie to school. She was very excited, and later told me her favorite part of the day was bringing Daddy to school and showing him her class’s newly hatched baby chicks.

When Jay went to the ride along, I made a conscience effort to not expect any phone calls and to not expect him to walk through the door until midnight. See, I’ve been undergoing an Academy training of my own. Pre-Academy, I would call Jay or he would call me at least 5 times every day about all sorts of extremely important issues, like which of the Lord of the Rings movies is best or whether or not we thought the girls would try salmon for dinner. Pre-Academy, I stressed out when Jay had to deliver pizzas at night because I didn’t like putting the kids to bed without his help. And cooking? Forget it... that was his domain for 2-plus years and I wasn’t shedding a tear over it.

Now, post-Academy (well, almost), I feel much more confident in my abilities. I don’t need to consult Jay on every little detail. I don’t have to talk to him once an hour, although I would be happy to if I could. I can whip up dinner without a problem, even if it’s still not my favorite thing to do. And putting the kids to bed? I’m a pro. For the first time in a long time I feel like the house really belongs to me – I am the CFO, baby. (That’s Chief Family Officer, obviously.) I feel that I can handle Jay’s long work hours because the Academy has prepared me as best as it could. Jay is not the only one who has gone through a transformation... I just wish mine included some of the weight loss that his did!

So back on the topic of Jay’s ride along... that was the topic I was originally on, in case anyone has forgotten. Jay was assigned to a officer who also happens to be one of the San Jose office’s FTO’s (Field Training Officers). They had a beat that was practically in our backyard – highway 85 between Cottle and Hwy 17. The beat also included some unincorporated city streets near our neighborhood. I had no idea he was that close to home until he came home that night.

Although Jay didn’t experience any DUI arrests, major crashes, or car chases during his ride along, he had a blast. He observed and helped out with several speeding tickets, a minor crash, disabled vehicles, and a handful of seatbelt tickets. (Buckle up, people!!) Oh! And there was a carpool violation... man, that is not a ticket you want to get. I think the fee is up to just under $400. Yikes! But I think his favorite part of the day was interacting with regular ‘ol citizens of San Jose, like the kids that stared at them in awe as they walked into the restaurant, or the man who needed directions to the Eqyptian museum. He really does love helping people. Many years ago, Jay told his mom that he didn’t need to do well in high school because he was busy perfecting his “social skills.” Who knew he would really be able to get paid for those social skills!

It was great for Jay to get a taste of what a typical day on the road will be like. He absolutely loved it and is now even more anxious for graduation, if that’s possible. Senioritis will probably be even more intense now that he’s had a taste of what it’s like to be an officer. Luckily for him - luckily for all of us - there are just 3 weeks left!

There goes another Fear Family Heirloom

You know, you really tend get a little more lax once you have kid number three. You have no choice, really, since you're outnumbered and the rascals know it. I knew a long time ago that I should have moved the mixing bowls off of the open shelves under the microwave stand. But since Dex isn't as mobile as most 11 month olds, I kept putting it off. Plus, I like the way the bowls look under there. And now I'm paying for my lax-ness:

Poor Dex, he was pretty scared. We're lucky that the bowls didn't hurt him.

And now my favorite Target mixing bowls have gone to mixing bowl heaven. They were a wedding gift and have been used almost daily for nearly 7 years, so don't cry for them, they had a good life.

I can just see it - 60 years from now the lawyer is reading my will and Natalie is gently sobbing in the corner, "Those Target mixing bowls would have been mine, if it weren't for you, DEXTER!"

Week 23 - Senioritis setting in

It's odd how right when time should be moving at break neck speed, it seems to be slowing to a screeching halt. Senioritis is definitely setting in for both me and Jay. I am so excited that we have completed 23 of 27 weeks, but I do feel a bit like a 5 year old waiting for Christmas day. It's painful.

Nothing really news-worthy happened at the Academy this past week. The cadets have a little more free time than usual, but basically they can only use it to study. Yawn. Jay did use some free time at lunch the other day to play around on the Skid Pan, which was fun. But he doesn't get to do that everyday.

One of the benefits of being close to graduation is that the PT Staff is now letting the Seniors run their own PT sessions. The staff is there, of course, but they aren't leading the workout. The Seniors can go at their own pace (as long as they're not slacking) and they can even listen to music! Nice! It's turning into a country club out there! ;) Also, now that the Seniors have their assignments, they can decorate their PT shirts to show where they will be going. People usually put the freeway symbols and maybe pictures of things that the area is known for. Here is Jay's:


I love that he's essentially calling himself a yahoo.

The first day that they wore their decorated shirts, one of the PT staff started giving Jay a hard time about the Ebay and Yahoo logos:

Officer: FEAR! What's all this computer crap on your shirt?
Jay: Sir, these companies are based in San Jose and that's where I'm going.
Pause.
Officer: That's pretty dang creative.

Of course yesterday another officer gave him a hard time about it as well, asking if he was sponsored. It was good natured, though. The staff has been much cooler to Jay's class now that graduation is looming. The Seniors need to be careful that they don't get too relaxed, however, because the Staff is bound to turn on them if they do.

In other news, things have been moving along well on the home front. All three kids are healthy and usually happy. Last week Natalie was Student of the Week! This wasn't the special kindergarten student of the week award, it was the school-wide student of the week award. We are very proud of her, and I am especially happy that the award didn't come with one of those bumper stickers. I just don't think I could do it.

On Saturday we had a fabulous day at Gilroy Gardens (formally known as Bonfante Gardens). The girls call it Farnfarnte Gardens, no matter how much we try to correct them. My mother-in-law Betsy was the reason we were able to go, so THANKS Mom! She came with us and we all had a wonderful time. The sun was shining, the kids were well behaved, and Jay and I shared a funnel cake. All the stars were aligned.

My little tourists

Dexter's first ride - the Goldfish!

Natalie and Bea on the Tubs-of-Fun, otherwise known as The Spinny Things

Just chillin'

Bea and Grandma on the Artichoke Dip

Right before Dex started imitating me saying "Weeeeeee!"

Waving to his fans

Sunday drive circa 1920

"Mommy, when can I drive a real car?"

"When you're 16."

"That's going to take a long time."

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter from the Fear's!

Natalie was the first to wake up this morning. She came in to our room and, as usual, asked for "a snack and a drink and some TV." I told her to go pick a Veggie Tales (it is Sunday, after all), and as she trotted away I fully expected to hear shrieks of delight as she noticed the gifts from the Easter Bunny. But there was nothing, so... I went back to sleep. Obviously I wasn't too concerned. A few minutes later she came in with the movie she had selected, and as I was walking back to the living room with her, she finally noticed the pink baskets on the hearth. She was very excited that the Easter Bunny had given her paint (which Mommy would never buy) and even a bag of all pink M&M's, along with a few other treats. Bea woke up a little while later and was equally excited, especially with her purple M&M's. How does the Easter Bunny know their favorite colors? Amazing!

After church we came home, painted eggs, and had the all-important Easter Egg hunt in the front yard. The girls had a blast and we let them hide and rehide the eggs until they were too cracked to use anymore. That's right, we use real eggs... we're so old school.

We had a lovely traditional Easter dinner of ... corned beef and cabbage? Yep! Jay had it for the first time (Crazy, I know!) at the Academy last week and made a special request to have it again, so that's what we did. It was good, too. The girls actually tried the cabbage but then wouldn't come near it again with a ten foot pole. Shocker.

All in all it was a wonderful day. We hope you all had a fantastic one as well, and that no one in your household has thrown up yet from too many jellybeans and chocolate bunny ears.

Thank you Easter Bunny, bawk bawk!

Something tells me Jay isn't buying whatever it is Bea is selling...

The hunters, back with their catch

Guess what I'm doing tonight?

Oh yes, it's laundry night

The clothes are sorted right

Oh yes, it's laundry night

Oh what a night (oh what a night)

Oh yes, it's laundry night

Start with darks or lights?

Oh yes, it's laundry night

Oh what a night (oh what a night)

This is my night tonight, everything' s gotta clean up right

This is my night tonight, everything' s gotta clean up right

Yeah I'm a lady, ooh oh yeah, whose feeling lazy

Mm procrastinating mama

Gotta put down the baby, yeah, yeah

Clean with me tonight!

(Are the rest of you thinking about Jon Lovitz now, or is that just me?)

Week 22: Another good week

Week 22 was a week of accomplishments. It started on Monday during PT. As you may or may not recall, the cadets have to earn their official CHP PT shirt. Until they do they wear plain white t-shirts with their names on the back in puffy, marshmallow-like writing. It indicates how "soft" they are, I suppose. After PT on Monday the Staff held up three of the official shirts and started calling out the names of the cadets who earned them. The third cadet called was Jay. Whoo hoo! It was a long time coming, but Jay's been putting in a ton of effort in PT and his performance in ASP training and in a 10K run in Week 21 sealed the deal. He was pretty sure he was going to be a marshmallow all the way until the end of the Academy, so getting his shirt back was a nice bonus.

On Tuesday we found out our assignment! I already posted about it ,but just in case you missed it, we get to stay here in San Jose! Deep down I had a feeling that we would at least be staying within commuting distance, but one thing I'm learning is that there are no guarantees in this career. I was prepared to pack up and move to El Cajon if I had to, but boy am I glad to be staying here in our cozy 1950's ranch-style house with renter's carpet, bad plumbing, and a shower that looks like it came straight out of the Emerald City. And I'm actually not being sarcastic!

On Wednesday Jay had his much anticipated final driving test. The test is called Code 3 and includes driving like a maniac and chasing another car through city-like streets. You can imagine what fun he had. And the good news is, he passed on the first attempt! It is a relief to have EVOC, one of the biggest obstacles to graduation, behind him.

On Thursday the cadets had graduation practice with the new commissioner in attendance. Jay also started his DUI report. This is a report that will actually be sent to his Field Training Officer (FTO) upon graduation, so it needs to be in tip top shape. First impressions, and all that.

Friday Jay got to come home. That might not seem like something to write about, but it was his first Friday home in two weeks so we were all very excited. He was even home in time to read stories to the girls and tuck them in to bed. It's little things like that we've all been missing since he's been away. I'm so thankful we are on the downhill slope.

The weekend was busy with errands but we also found some time to just hang out and, in the words of Michael Scott, shalax. But the biggest weekend news of all? I found my dress for the graduation party! I am returning the other two I bought last weekend... I'm such a bulimic shopper. I don't really have a choice though, since the new one was just a tad more expensive than I planned. I am justifying it with the fact that I already have awesome shoes to go with it and since it's a little black dress, I will be able to wear it a lot. (Right?) Now I just need to go through my closet and decide what I'm going to wear to the actual graduation ceremony. Decisions, decisions. It's going to be captured on film for all time, so it's critical that I don't look ... lame. Wish me luck.

Natalie and Daddy getting ready for a Saturday morning run

A rare occurance: Unhappy Dexter

Bea, so proud of her kerchief!

Just for fun...

This is what happens when you're bored and avoiding going to bed. The last one does crack me up, though. Who thinks of things like that?

39

I Scored a 100%!

44

16

Drum roll, please...

At 6:30 this evening I got a call from my friend and fellow cadet wife, Katie, who frantically asked me, "So, where are you guys going?!?" It took me a minute to know what she was talking about. Then it clicked. She wanted to know where we had been assigned. I told her we didn't know yet and she said, "Well, some of the wives are posting their assignments online." (We have a CHP Wives group on MySpace.) I freaked out! How come Jay hadn't called me yet?!?

I spent the next hour ignoring my children as I sat by the phone and continually refreshed my browser to read where my fellow CHP Wives were headed, and still, no phone call. I got the kids in bed. No phone call. The normal appointed call time of 8 o'clock came, and still, no phone call. 8:30. 8:45. 9:00. Finally, at 9:15 or so the phone rang. I answered as quickly as possible and told Jay in no uncertain terms that he was not to mess around with me and to just tell me where we were assigned. He paused, and I just knew he was thinking of a way to mess with me anyway, so I made a few threats and he finally told me. And now, I get to tell you... drum roll, please....

East LA
Kidding! (Sorry, I had to)

Do you know the way to ... SAN JOSE, baby?!?!

That's right! We get to stay put right here. No frantic searching for a place to live. No desperate hunting for a good school district. No packing up my extremely unorganized garage. And no 9th move in 7 years. I am so happy I could just sing!!! Or eat a whole pan of cookie bars! Or both!!

Craziness

Week 21 was long with a capital L. So... it was Long. Actually, it was long in all caps. LONG. Like that. Maybe that's why I've had such a hard time getting motivated to write this post.

This past week was Scenario testing for Jay's company. I can't go into details about what the testing entails (big brother is watching...) but basically it's when the cadets put all their newly acquired skills to the test. They were tested on 10 scenarios - 5 on Monday and 5 on Tuesday.

On Monday, Jay passed all 5 with flying colors. On Tuesday, he failed 2 of the 5. He was pretty down about it because he did not want to have to stay on Saturday to retest. Luckily they were given another chance on Wednesday to pass any that they may have failed. Jay passed 1 of the 2, which meant he had to stay on Saturday anyway. Oh, and if he failed on Saturday, he would have to pack his bags. It was a stressful few days for this little family, let me tell ya. I knew he would pass, but he was so ... what word am I looking for.... depressed, that he didn't even sound like himself. I was worried that the stress would overwhelm him. So, I did the only thing I know how to do (no... not give him ice cream, he's on the training table!) I prayed. A lot. And as many of you know, I asked for your prayers, too. And... I am happy to report that he passed!! He called me Saturday morning with the fantastic news and it felt like an overweight elephant was lifted off of my shoulders. He was even able to be home by noon on Saturday, so we almost had a full weekend together to boot!

We celebrated that evening with dinner at PF Changs (oh baby!) and my favorite date activity of all... shopping!!! Do you know how lucky I am to have Jay for a husband? Not only does he like Jane Austen and look good awesome in a uniform, he loves to shop! (You ladies can stop throwing things at your screen now.) We bought him some new clothes, including the studliest outfit I've ever seen on him. It's for his graduation party. I bought myself two dresses for his graduation but can't decide between the two, and frankly, neither one of them outshines Jay's outfit, so I'm a little miffed about that. I might have to return them both and start over again.

Sunday came and it was time for Jay to leave for the start of Week 22. He used to leave at about 7 p.m. on Sundays, then it was 8, then 8:30... keep in mind that he has a midnight curfew and a 4 a.m. wakeup call on Mondays. Yet by 8:45 he was still home on Sunday, trying to muster up the motivation to leave. We started bringing his things out to the car when I walked by the kitchen and noticed that a swimming pool had miraculously been installed. Ugh! There was water all over the laundry room and kitchen floors.

It was a mess. Poor Jay tried to find the source of the problem but time was running out. We knew if he was late to the Academy he would lose his Wednesday liberty, so he left me all alone (pout) with the prospect of doing all my dirty dishes in the tub. And of course something like this always happens when I've been ignoring my dishes all weekend. I think I had one fork left and no bowls at all. It all ended happily, though. The plumber came Monday morning and $275 later, the household is running smoothly again. Well... it's running.

And so ends Week 21. Thank you again for all your prayers and positive thoughts this week. We wouldn't have made it through without your support. Less than 6 weeks to go now... glory, glory, hallelujah!

And here are our reasons for going through this crazy experience:

What more can I say?

Growing up...

When Natalie first told me that she had a "wiggly tooth," I nearly cried. I was happy - even a little giddy - for her, but I was also a tad pouty and sad for myself. It was almost as if her future flashed before my eyes... first a wiggly tooth, then sleepovers, then driver's training, then hanging out at the mall, and then something even more terrifying - boys!!

Okay, so I'm being slightly melodramatic but the essential point is this: my baby is growing up. And here is the evidence:

The first one to go - Friday, February 29, 2008

RIP Central Incisor

The tooth fairy that visited our house that night was a novice - it was her first gig, in fact. She actually had to call her boss to double check a few procedures, like whether or not she should take the tooth with her when she left. I let her use our phone, so I overheard the whole thing. She got it all sorted out though, and in the morning Natalie tiptoed into my room with a big smile on her face, showing off her spoils:

She already has her second wiggly tooth. I'm telling ya... just a few steps away from her asking for the keys to the 'Rolla...

Tas'd and Confused

Week 20 is over ... aww, yeah!

There are two main things that happened this past week. First, and most importantly, we got The List, otherwise known as The Dream Sheet! This is the list that shows all the CHP offices accepting new cadets from Jay's class. Sometime during Week 19 (ok, maybe even before that) I started bugging Jay about The List every night. I knew it had to be coming soon. Everyday he'd give me whatever update there was, which was usually something like, "They said we should get it soon." Ummmm.... I don't know about you guys but that's not exactly the kind of response I like to get. I'm all about facts, firm dates, cold hard evidence, things of that nature. However, Jay works for the State, so... I am learning to take what I can get.

The kids and I met Jay for liberty on Wednesday and for once I didn't ask him about The List. We sat and talked and ate for at least an hour before Jay smoothly said, "So, we got this memo today..." and out from his inside jacket pocket he pulls ... The List! I screamed. The other IKEA diners looked around and stared as I continued to loudly exclaim things like "I can't believe it!" or "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!?" or simply, "AGH!!!!" all the while hitting him repeatedly with The List. Luckily the IKEA staff knows us by now, otherwise they might have come over and told me to zip my lid.

Of course the single most important thing on The List is how many cadets the San Jose office is taking. I scanned down and bang, there it was... San Jose is taking 6 cadets! There is no gaurantee that we'll get one of those six spots, of course, but the higher number of openings, the better.

We had to rank the offices in order of preference from 1 to 39, so we spent Saturday night grooving to Neil Diamond ("There are two types of people in this world....") as we discussed, revised, checked out maps, and had heated debates about the merits of East LA over Bishop. In the end we were able to agree 100% on the rankings. Our top 5 are:

1) San Jose (accepting 6)

2) Hollister/Gilroy (accepting 3)

3) Santa Cruz (accepting 3)

4) Redwood City (accepting 5)

5) Hayward (accepting 7)

Overall it looks like our chances of staying within commuting distance are good, but I know better than to count on anything. Please, Lord, just don't send us to Needles!

If you're interested, our bottom 5 are:

35) Fort Bragg (there isn't even an office there!)

36) Arrowhead (boonies, baby)

37) Garberville (Jay calls it Garbageville)

38) Mojave (um, I don't think I need to explain)

39) Needles (uber-boonies)

Ok, so this is turning into the Post of the Century, but I need to tell you about the other thing that happened this week, the event that inspired my post title.

Jay had to stay at the Academy on Saturday (grrrr...) for Taser training. They are the first cadet class to receive this training at the Academy. They started by watching a video of someone getting tased, and then the instructors demonstrated on one of the cadets. The whole time this is going on Jay is under the impression that getting tased is voluntary because, well, they said it was. They divided into 6 groups and Jay helped hold on to a few of his classmates as they got tased. As he listened to the grown men yelping, he thought, "Well, that looks like fun for them, but not for me." When the cadet he was holding was done the instructor turned to Jay:

"K, Fear, you're next."

"Um, Sir, I really don't want to do it." (Remember, this was voluntary.)

"How 'bout you just get over here and do what I say."

Jay's training kicked in, "Sir, yes sir!" So much for voluntary.

Two classmates held Jay under the arm and by the forearm. One of them said, "Don't worry Fear, it doesn't hurt that bad." This coming from a guy that was screaming like Chewbacca only minutes before. For some reason his words didn't provide much comfort.

The instructor hooked Jay up with a prong on his shoulder and another one under his buttcheek. And then... he "rode the lightening." It was like sticking your finger in a socket except much more powerful. So powerful that every muscle between his shoulder and upper thigh seized up and he wasn't able to move them at all. He cried out like all the other guys, and then... it was over. It was a long 5 seconds but Jay has decided that he would be tased again before being pepper sprayed again, without a doubt. I'll just take his word for it.

I have my own tasing story I could share, but it will take waaayyy too long. Let's just say it involves my former neighbor - sans clothes. Ask me about it sometime if you have a strong stomach.

If you've stuck with this post this long - thanks! As a reward, below is a post with pics from our IKEA outings. No, no... no need to thank me. It's the least I can do. :)

Wednesday Nights with The Fear's

If you've ever wondered what we do at IKEA during Wednesday night liberty (besides eat Swedish meatballs of course), here's your answer.

We have tea parties

We attack each other and then look as innocent as possible

Sometimes we get to hang out with extended family! This is Jay with his brother Jack and Natalie with her cousin Danica. Our nephew Chris was off reclining in another chair.

We let Dexter test out the sinks

We catch some shut-eye

We try to remove stubborn loose teeth

We play some more...

And then we go home ... exhausted but happy.

The End.