My Trip to Lucky's or How I Spent My Spring Break

What is it about the grocery store that makes children turn into little disobedient monkeys?

First of all, the girls insisted on the pink car cart. You know, the one that's a complete beast to maneuver? The one that they think is fun for the first five minutes and then decide to get in and out of 400 times? And why is it that when they get out they without fail decide to stand right in front of the cart? It's like they are begging to get run over so they can slap me with a lawsuit.

I don't know if I even have the energy to go into the details of the trip, but let's just say this: Besides the cart fiasco, the whining for this and that, Bea dropping a jar of pickles, and the complete lack of good sales ($1.59 for canned green beans? I think not.), this trip came with an extra-special ending. After an hour of shooting down 99% of the girls' requests and trying to keep a screaming Dexter happy, I pulled the massive cart into the checkout line. I unloaded the groceries and got out my wallet ... oh no oh no oh no oh no!!!! Then I started saying it out loud, "oh no oh no oh no," as my cheeks burned red. The cashier astutely asks, "Is something wrong?" YES!! Something is wrong!!! My debit card is in the back pocket of my jeans... my other jeans! And the only credit card I carry happens to be expired. Fan-freakin-tastic.

Talk about embarrassing. The girls are wondering what's wrong as we start to leave the store without food, when the very helpful bagger lady tells them "Mommy didn't have enough money so she has to come back." NO, that is not what happened lady! I can pay for my groceries! I'm just an idiot for never putting my card back in my wallet. Ugh! So the cashier, who actually was very nice, put my cart in grocery jail while I loaded up the kids, drove home, got my debit card, drove back, unloaded the kids, waited to bail out my groceries, and finished checking out.

Man. I think I'm going to use safeway.com from now on... I don't even care about the $10 delivery fee anymore.

25 down, 2 to go!

This is going to be a short recap, folks. (Is that a "hallelujah" I hear?)

Week 25 was focused on one thing: emergency medical response. The cadets spent all day every day learning CPR and many other lifesaving techniques. The CHP is almost always the first on the scene of an accident, so the knowledge the cadets gained this week is essential. You never know if you might be able to do something to save someone's life in the time it takes for the paramedics to arrive.

One thing he learned to do was deliver a baby! You'd be surprised how often officers have to do that. In fact, one of Jay's instructors has done it twice! And a few months ago Jay told me about an officer (someone he went on a ride along with, actually) who was driving his pregnant wife to the hospital but there just wasn't enough time. He pulled over and had to deliver his own child. Amazing! So, obviously, now that Jay's a certified EMR (Emergency Medical Responder), I'm totally having him deliver any future children we may have...................what? Does that not sound like something I would do?

So week 25 is done and we have 2 weeks to go. Only one more sad Sunday goodbye, I can't believe it. I'm a little preoccupied with graduation week preparation, but it's a good preoccupied. I just wish we were given more tickets to the ceremony... I'm so proud of Jay, I want to invite the world!

Lookin' good!

In case you can't tell what this is, it's the "Countdown to Daddy's Graduation" calendar that hangs on our fridge. We've been crossing off a square every day for almost six months. I can't tell you how happy I'll be to get that thing off my fridge. :)

110th post!

This post idea is completely ripped off from my friend Brenda, who, in celebration of her 100th post, wrote down 100 things about herself. It made me wonder how many posts I’ve written, so I checked it out. Imagine my surprise when I saw that this would be my 110th post! I had no idea. I thought about waiting until my 150th post to do this, but who wants to think about 150 things about themselves? So here you go... 110 little known facts about moi.

1. I am extremely grateful to be living in a time of washing machines, computers, and automatic cars.

2. The more passionately I feel about something, the harder time I have debating about it. I become frustrated, hurt, and inarticulate.

3. I love to shop for myself but only if Jay is with me. He has a great fashion sense. He’s my own personal Clinton Kelly.

4. I hate hate hate to mop.

5. I refuse to play “Sorry.” Because no one’s really sorry.

6. I love to sing even if I’m not very good at it. Some of my favorite memories are from singing in the church choir. Thank goodness we don’t have to audition!

7. I attended Mills College, an all-women’s college in Oakland, but left after two years. I also went to fashion design school.

8. I check my email way too much.

9. I am a convert to my church and joined when I was 15 years old. My parents were very supportive and I’ll always be grateful for that. It was the best decision I ever made!

10. I catch myself saying things that sound just like my mom on an almost-daily basis.

11. Sometimes I feel like the Cameron Fry to Jay’s Ferris Bueller.

12. It makes me sad that one day Dexter won’t like me attacking his cheeks anymore.

13. I love picking out baby names. It takes me all 9 months of my pregnancy... that’s with thinking about it in-between pregnancies, too.

14. I really hit the jackpot when I married Jay.

15. I actually don’t mind doing laundry. I’m not so good at putting it away, though.

16. I am one of those weird people who love their mother-in-law.

17. My bathroom looks like The Emerald City.

18. I have a fear of talking on the phone, especially to people I don’t know. I always make Jay order the pizza.

19. My favorite color is red.

20. One of the first things I loved about Jay was that he loves to dance. We are total dorks on the dance floor and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

21. I plan on going back to school one day. What for is anyone’s guess.

22. I think my daughters are beautiful and my son is handsome. Sometimes I just stare at them when they’re not looking and wonder how I created such gorgeous children.

23. When I was in my early 20’s I went through a phase of thinking I wanted to be in law enforcement. Instead, I married a man who wanted to be in law enforcement. It’s better this way.

24. I am really good at Excel. At my former job, creating cool spreadsheets was my creative outlet.

25. I love to blog and obsessively check to see who has left comments (hint, hint).

26. I have the world’s oldest computer monitor, and the world’s crappiest DSL connection.

27. I have been to Israel and Jordan, but never to Mexico.

28. I love doing my family history and wish I had more time to devote to it.

29. I love it when my kids are old enough to go to the nursery at church.

30. I get obsessed intensely passionate about things for a time, then eventually the passion fades, although I always still enjoy whatever it is I was passionate about. (does that make sense?) Examples: Les Miserables, Harry Potter, and politics.

31. I hate that I flutter my eyelids. Please don’t point it out to me if I do it to you.

32. Some days I feel like the world’s crappiest mom.

33. I have had many people tell me I look like Mary Tyler Moore. That's OK with me.
34. It is my personal ambition to stump Jay on as many movie quotes as possible... not an easy task.

35. I think having just one kid is really hard. When it was just me and Natalie at home, I would just stare at her... “so, what do we do now?” Having 3 kids is much more entertaining.

36. My favorite dessert is my family’s mayonnaise cake.

37. I am a creative soul burdened with the mind of an accountant.

38. I am amazingly good at blocking out unpleasant memories. Maybe that’s why I only remember ¼ of junior high.

39. I lived in Vermont from the time I was 3 until I was almost 9.

40. I am a planner. It’s a trait I inherited from my mom.

41. I have every one of the original Nancy Drew books, all locked safely away in a cabinet. My friends and I used to play “Nancy Drew” all the time, and of course, I was always the teenage sleuth herself.

42. I love stationary, invitations, and thank you cards. And even though I love email, there is something so sweet about sending or receiving a handwritten note.

43. My favorite holiday is Christmas, even though it’s the only thing Jay and I ever fight about.

44. All three of my kids have been born by c-section. You would be amazed at the rude comments I’ve heard about it, too.

45. As evidenced by #44, I don’t think women support each other like they should. We can be so catty and insensitive.

46. I was actually born blond, like Bea. My hair darkened over time until it reached its current “almost black” (according to Natalie) shade.

47. I can’t wait to go on a mission with Jay. I hope we get to go on one of each kind – proselyting, temple, humanitarian, family history, etc.

48. My favorite book is Persuasion, by the one and only Jane Austen.

49. One of my pet peeves is when people spell Austen as Austin.

50. I get stressed out about trying something new, but usually have fun once I’m doing it.

51. I think one of the coolest jobs in the world would be to name lipstick colors. Really, who gets to do that?!?

52. My favorite book of the bible is the book of James. The whole thing is just awesome and always gives me something to think about.

53. One of my favorite dates with Jay was on our 6th anniversary – a picnic in Vasona, milkshakes, at Johnny Rocket’s, a round of minature golf, and roller skating.

54. I like brussel sprouts – honestly!

55. I didn’t eat red meat for about 10 years, until I was pregnant with Natalie and HAD to have Taco Bell tacos and my mom’s meatloaf.

56. In elementary school I was invited to a “We Write Well” conference, and at first thought it was because I had good penmanship.

57. I actually don’t have good penmanship, but my mom does. Her writing is just beautiful.

58. Once, while running track in junior high, my track shoe came off during the last quarter of the lap. I still finished in second place. I was given the nickname “Amy One Shoe Teutschman.”

59. I did not go to kindergarten.

60. All three of my kids are named after someone I love. In Bea’s case, both her first and middle names are after someone I love.

61. Jay’s favorite thing to tease me about is that I once wore a beret. Hey, it was high school and I was in Ashland, Oregon for the Shakespeare Festival. I looked cute, dang it. I would include a picture if I could find it....

62. I probably won’t own a home again until I’m 50, and I’m OK with that.

63. I am a little nervous about adjusting to life after Jay returns from the Academy.

64. I really like volunteering in the girls’ classrooms.

65. Most common phrase uttered in my house: Settle down!

66. I’m starting to think that this “110 Things About Myself” post wasn’t the best idea... I’m having writer’s block!

67. I have 500lbs of wheat in my garage and no idea how to make homemade bread. I tried once and it didn’t quite turn out. Just reading how to do it isn’t enough... I need someone to show me. Any takers?

68. Guilty pleasure: cheesy, sappy Nicholas Sparks novels.

69. As a kid, my bedtime was 8 o’clock. I remember this because I always fell asleep to the theme song from “Simon & Simon” coming from the living room.

70. I like to pepper my blog posts with movie quotes from time to time. Sometimes you guys catch them.

71.I believe I live in the greatest country on earth. And I think too many of us forget all the blessings that come from living here.

72. For a while I was a mystery shopper. It was fun, but not really worth it.

73. I love baseball.

74. I love it when Dexter claps. It is so cute, it makes me want to just pinch his cheeks.

75. I was a coxswain for the Mills College rowing team for a year. It was a blast, but I couldn’t handle the early morning wake up anymore.

76. One of my favorite places in the world is the Oakland Temple. I don’t even have to go inside ... just being on the grounds is peaceful and comforting.

77. One of my favorite things about Bea is her sense of humor. She really is funny and charming.

78. If I could be anyone from literature, it would probably be Eowyn from Lord of the Rings. Bet you thought I was going to say Lizzy Bennett, huh?

79. Nothing scares me more than something happening to my children or Jay. I feel so lucky to know that no matter what happens, we are a family forever.

80. One of my favorite things about Natalie is her kind heart. She is very sensitive to the feelings of others and wants them to be happy.

81. I am really tired of IKEA meatballs.

82. Jay claims that I secretly got the girls a dollhouse because I wanted to play with it. He’s right.

83. I think The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain is perhaps the most boring movie ever made.

84. Spiderman is my favorite superhero... although Christian Bale’s Batman doesn’t burn my retinas. (That’s for you, Robin.)

85. I like the second trimester of pregnancy, when people can finally tell that you’re pregnant but you don’t yet look like a bloated walrus.

86. I have a semi-irrational fear of knives.

87. I had braces for what seemed like forever. I didn’t show a proper smile from 8th grade until the summer after my sophomore year in high school.

88. I enjoy coloring with my kids. It’s sort of relaxing. I need to have sharp crayons, though.

89. I wish I was a little more easy-going. I can be a stress case, and I dislike that about myself.

90. Like Brenda said, listening to hymns is the quickest way for me to feel the spirit. It would probably be a good idea to listen to them more often.

91. When I was a kid, I loved loved loved it when my mom would put a little note in my lunchbox. I try to do that for my girls often.

92. If money wasn’t an object and I didn’t have to transport kids, I would so cruise around in a Shelby Cobra.

93. I am not into scrapbooking, sewing, or anything crafty.

94. I know every word to Copa Cabana.

95. My favorite activity in high school and college was drama. I have been in several plays, musicals, and talent shows, none of which are on video, thankfully.

96. Despite the fact that my sister is a hairdresser, I am horrible at taking care of my hair. I got it cut in March, but before that it was October!

97. I firmly believe that The Office is second only to Seinfeld in greatness and quotability.

98. I passed on my thumb-sucking gene to all three of my children.

99. I really should be cleaning the house right now.

100. I actually owned and wore a pair of red Wranglers.

101. As a teenager I was so obsessed with Les Miserables that I was 100% sure I would name my daughter Eponine. One day Natalie will thank me.

102. If I had $20 and one hour to myself, I would go to a bookstore.

103. I am afraid of big dogs, and not really that fond of little ones, either. The only exception is my grandparents’ sweet dog, Tara.

104. My current favorite song is "Hey There Delilah." It makes me smile.

105. I am so glad we don’t have television in the house. Well, we have a television, but no cable, satellite, or bunny ears. It is wonderful to not be bombarded with all the junk that is out there.

106. Camping is really not my thing, and it’s probably not for the reason you think.

107. I once convinced my freshman homeroom class that I had a tattoo of a dancing John Travolta on my left hip.

108. I have come to understand that happiness doesn’t come from what you have, but from who you are and who you have around you.

109. I’m sure the best and most beautiful sound in the world is Jay making our children laugh.

110. I have a great life!

What a jip!

Last weekend we purchased a bag of Mother's Cookie Parade cookies. After the kids went to bed, Jay popped in a movie, sat down on the couch, and opened the bag. I was in another room at the time and all I heard was a loud, "WHAT?!" I rushed to the living room to see what the problem was and saw this:

You're probably thinking the same thing that I was thinking, which was, "well, it is sold by weight and not volume." Still, even as I said those words outloud I knew something was rotten in cookieville. Here, in its full color glory, is proof that Mother's totally ripped us off:

Weight of yummy Cookie Parade cookies we paid for:

Weight we received:

(Yes, I actually weighed it.) That's 4.9 ounces - missing!!! It's 1/3 of the bag!

I was so irritated, I was planning this big 'ol mail campaign to Mother's, complete with 8x10 glossies of their lies, plus a boycott of all Mother's products. Instead, I took some pictures and then Jay and I polished off the 9.7 ounces we had. And who am I kidding? I can boycott things like Carl's Jr. or McDonald's, but not Mother's cookies... seriously, have you ever had their Taffy's? One thing's for sure, though... next grocery run, I'm bringing a scale.

Ride Along Weekend

Week 24 was a blissfully short week. It was “ride along weekend,” where the cadets get to go on a ride along in their assigned office. Many cadets have to travel on Friday, do their ride along on Saturday, and look for a place to live in their new area during their remaining weekend hours. Since we didn’t have to spend time traveling or house hunting, Jay was able to come home Thursday night and we were able to enjoy a few extra hours together on Friday.

Jay’s ride along was scheduled for the swing shift (1:30 – 9:30 p.m.) on Friday. Before he went to the office, he took the opportunity to take Natalie to school. She was very excited, and later told me her favorite part of the day was bringing Daddy to school and showing him her class’s newly hatched baby chicks.

When Jay went to the ride along, I made a conscience effort to not expect any phone calls and to not expect him to walk through the door until midnight. See, I’ve been undergoing an Academy training of my own. Pre-Academy, I would call Jay or he would call me at least 5 times every day about all sorts of extremely important issues, like which of the Lord of the Rings movies is best or whether or not we thought the girls would try salmon for dinner. Pre-Academy, I stressed out when Jay had to deliver pizzas at night because I didn’t like putting the kids to bed without his help. And cooking? Forget it... that was his domain for 2-plus years and I wasn’t shedding a tear over it.

Now, post-Academy (well, almost), I feel much more confident in my abilities. I don’t need to consult Jay on every little detail. I don’t have to talk to him once an hour, although I would be happy to if I could. I can whip up dinner without a problem, even if it’s still not my favorite thing to do. And putting the kids to bed? I’m a pro. For the first time in a long time I feel like the house really belongs to me – I am the CFO, baby. (That’s Chief Family Officer, obviously.) I feel that I can handle Jay’s long work hours because the Academy has prepared me as best as it could. Jay is not the only one who has gone through a transformation... I just wish mine included some of the weight loss that his did!

So back on the topic of Jay’s ride along... that was the topic I was originally on, in case anyone has forgotten. Jay was assigned to a officer who also happens to be one of the San Jose office’s FTO’s (Field Training Officers). They had a beat that was practically in our backyard – highway 85 between Cottle and Hwy 17. The beat also included some unincorporated city streets near our neighborhood. I had no idea he was that close to home until he came home that night.

Although Jay didn’t experience any DUI arrests, major crashes, or car chases during his ride along, he had a blast. He observed and helped out with several speeding tickets, a minor crash, disabled vehicles, and a handful of seatbelt tickets. (Buckle up, people!!) Oh! And there was a carpool violation... man, that is not a ticket you want to get. I think the fee is up to just under $400. Yikes! But I think his favorite part of the day was interacting with regular ‘ol citizens of San Jose, like the kids that stared at them in awe as they walked into the restaurant, or the man who needed directions to the Eqyptian museum. He really does love helping people. Many years ago, Jay told his mom that he didn’t need to do well in high school because he was busy perfecting his “social skills.” Who knew he would really be able to get paid for those social skills!

It was great for Jay to get a taste of what a typical day on the road will be like. He absolutely loved it and is now even more anxious for graduation, if that’s possible. Senioritis will probably be even more intense now that he’s had a taste of what it’s like to be an officer. Luckily for him - luckily for all of us - there are just 3 weeks left!

There goes another Fear Family Heirloom

You know, you really tend get a little more lax once you have kid number three. You have no choice, really, since you're outnumbered and the rascals know it. I knew a long time ago that I should have moved the mixing bowls off of the open shelves under the microwave stand. But since Dex isn't as mobile as most 11 month olds, I kept putting it off. Plus, I like the way the bowls look under there. And now I'm paying for my lax-ness:

Poor Dex, he was pretty scared. We're lucky that the bowls didn't hurt him.

And now my favorite Target mixing bowls have gone to mixing bowl heaven. They were a wedding gift and have been used almost daily for nearly 7 years, so don't cry for them, they had a good life.

I can just see it - 60 years from now the lawyer is reading my will and Natalie is gently sobbing in the corner, "Those Target mixing bowls would have been mine, if it weren't for you, DEXTER!"

Week 23 - Senioritis setting in

It's odd how right when time should be moving at break neck speed, it seems to be slowing to a screeching halt. Senioritis is definitely setting in for both me and Jay. I am so excited that we have completed 23 of 27 weeks, but I do feel a bit like a 5 year old waiting for Christmas day. It's painful.

Nothing really news-worthy happened at the Academy this past week. The cadets have a little more free time than usual, but basically they can only use it to study. Yawn. Jay did use some free time at lunch the other day to play around on the Skid Pan, which was fun. But he doesn't get to do that everyday.

One of the benefits of being close to graduation is that the PT Staff is now letting the Seniors run their own PT sessions. The staff is there, of course, but they aren't leading the workout. The Seniors can go at their own pace (as long as they're not slacking) and they can even listen to music! Nice! It's turning into a country club out there! ;) Also, now that the Seniors have their assignments, they can decorate their PT shirts to show where they will be going. People usually put the freeway symbols and maybe pictures of things that the area is known for. Here is Jay's:


I love that he's essentially calling himself a yahoo.

The first day that they wore their decorated shirts, one of the PT staff started giving Jay a hard time about the Ebay and Yahoo logos:

Officer: FEAR! What's all this computer crap on your shirt?
Jay: Sir, these companies are based in San Jose and that's where I'm going.
Pause.
Officer: That's pretty dang creative.

Of course yesterday another officer gave him a hard time about it as well, asking if he was sponsored. It was good natured, though. The staff has been much cooler to Jay's class now that graduation is looming. The Seniors need to be careful that they don't get too relaxed, however, because the Staff is bound to turn on them if they do.

In other news, things have been moving along well on the home front. All three kids are healthy and usually happy. Last week Natalie was Student of the Week! This wasn't the special kindergarten student of the week award, it was the school-wide student of the week award. We are very proud of her, and I am especially happy that the award didn't come with one of those bumper stickers. I just don't think I could do it.

On Saturday we had a fabulous day at Gilroy Gardens (formally known as Bonfante Gardens). The girls call it Farnfarnte Gardens, no matter how much we try to correct them. My mother-in-law Betsy was the reason we were able to go, so THANKS Mom! She came with us and we all had a wonderful time. The sun was shining, the kids were well behaved, and Jay and I shared a funnel cake. All the stars were aligned.

My little tourists

Dexter's first ride - the Goldfish!

Natalie and Bea on the Tubs-of-Fun, otherwise known as The Spinny Things

Just chillin'

Bea and Grandma on the Artichoke Dip

Right before Dex started imitating me saying "Weeeeeee!"

Waving to his fans

Sunday drive circa 1920

"Mommy, when can I drive a real car?"

"When you're 16."

"That's going to take a long time."

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter from the Fear's!

Natalie was the first to wake up this morning. She came in to our room and, as usual, asked for "a snack and a drink and some TV." I told her to go pick a Veggie Tales (it is Sunday, after all), and as she trotted away I fully expected to hear shrieks of delight as she noticed the gifts from the Easter Bunny. But there was nothing, so... I went back to sleep. Obviously I wasn't too concerned. A few minutes later she came in with the movie she had selected, and as I was walking back to the living room with her, she finally noticed the pink baskets on the hearth. She was very excited that the Easter Bunny had given her paint (which Mommy would never buy) and even a bag of all pink M&M's, along with a few other treats. Bea woke up a little while later and was equally excited, especially with her purple M&M's. How does the Easter Bunny know their favorite colors? Amazing!

After church we came home, painted eggs, and had the all-important Easter Egg hunt in the front yard. The girls had a blast and we let them hide and rehide the eggs until they were too cracked to use anymore. That's right, we use real eggs... we're so old school.

We had a lovely traditional Easter dinner of ... corned beef and cabbage? Yep! Jay had it for the first time (Crazy, I know!) at the Academy last week and made a special request to have it again, so that's what we did. It was good, too. The girls actually tried the cabbage but then wouldn't come near it again with a ten foot pole. Shocker.

All in all it was a wonderful day. We hope you all had a fantastic one as well, and that no one in your household has thrown up yet from too many jellybeans and chocolate bunny ears.

Thank you Easter Bunny, bawk bawk!

Something tells me Jay isn't buying whatever it is Bea is selling...

The hunters, back with their catch